Monday, May 16, 2016

A Father- in - laws Guide to Zumba Wear


























As most of you may know on 15th May 2016, I was told not to wear a sleeveless top because it was inappropriate and that Father-in-laws may get uncomfortable because of me wearing an appropriate work out attire to zumba. Hence, this post is inspired by the very man who said these things, the owner of Zumbandu run by a certain Mr Ar*** Ma***. As an ex student of the institution I would suggest all of you to not be a part of the class,  unless you want to see what 1950's was like for woman. I would also like to add that MR Ar*** was kind enough to tell me that if I write about this institution he would get free publicity. I hope my efforts do not go to waste. Let us get started!



As someone  who recently discovered that random father- in -Laws are extremely important for zumba classes, I have formulated some guidelines you and I can both benefit from when doing zumba.

1. Listen to your misogynist instructor and wear black tutus so that your regions are covered, you maybe uncomfortable but at least you are a ballerina. 








   2. Paste a "I am sorry, my arm pit offends you" sign on your arm pits  if you are daring to go bare! and wear a sleeveless to hot and stuffy class. 







3. Be a man, cause when a girl wears a tank top she is obviously  "showing off and being European." Also, the men are exempted from the  Father- in -laws watchful eye. 













4. Get covered from head to toe for the workout. Perhaps a onesie. Quit complaining about feeling sweaty, do it for the Father- in- Laws.



5. Die of heat exhaustion, you might feel faintish but you will get approval of a random person, so it is definitely worth it! 



6. Wear traditional attire to the workout, there is no better time than zumba to show how sanskari  you are, bonus points  you might actually be scouted by your future father in law! 
















7. Encourage the "family environment" by bringing your entire family to watch every day, even better bring in the snacks and have a picnic in the middle of the dance floor. 







8. When a booty pooping and hip shaking song comes on quickly run to the bathroom and wait till it's over. Or randomly start meditating. 




9. Forget about sexual harassment and greet the men who come to look and dance for them. I mean they made such an effort to come watch you shake, you might as well give them what they came for. 








10. Laugh at people who raise their voice against sexual harassment (For those who do not know what sexual harassment is)  because someone who is raising a voice against such issues is a lunatic. 






Lastly, I would like to once again thank the people who inspired me to do this post. Thank you for letting me know that I need to not dress according to my comfort level but instead think of the random Father-in-laws that may or may not come to my class. Lets share this post so the MR ZUMBANDU really gets the publicity he is looking for! 


note: some of the pictures do not match the guidelines because the guidelines were just that rare even google couldn't find the pictures that fit. 

3 comments:

  1. Perhaps should try that arm pit sign... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ cool one.. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Onzie Yoga Wear is sizzling and so can you! Bring your sexy on with the latest Onzie Activewear - no more chafing, overheating or feeling uncomfortable when doing Hot Yoga. With the latest modern innovation of Wicking fabric, take your style to any athletic leisure activity.

    ReplyDelete