Wednesday, May 17, 2017

The timeliners





So when are you getting married?

When are you getting your masters?

When are you getting that new job?

When. When. When.

These questions or rather questions like these are forever imposed on us. Quiet frankly we impose them on ourselves too and with time the questions change aswell. No one knows exactly why we do it,  sometimes its because our friends are doing the exact same thing. Or its the "right thing" to do.

And I agree there are certain things you have to do in order to go somewhere or be something. Your life will not get any momentum unless you make changes and decide to move wherever, no I don't mean take your coffee from the kitchen and sit in the couch! No No!

What I mean is, sometimes life choices are hard but needed if you want that extra cash, if you want your own business, if you want whatever you want. It won't just drop on your lap.....unless you want rain and even then you need to sit outside! But, what happens when these timelines come in between what you want to do and what you are supposed to do?

You guessed it. We get stressed. Now, I would have to admit that this generation perhaps is the most stressed generation of all times and it is for a number of reasons but more so because its so easy to compare yourself with someone. Now you can compare yourself with someone in the other side of globe, people you don't even know, people you may never meet. Times were simpler when it was just your bitchy aunty comparing everyone was it not? Well, that is life, with the good of  being connected there comes a whole lot of comparing.


But, how do we stop these ? Stop ourselves from turning into ticking time bombs.

Learn patience :

So here is what I tell you. When stressed forget the rest. Forget what your far cousin is doing and when he did it. Forget what your best friend is doing and when he did it. The truth is we all are so busy trying to be the timeliners we forget the one thing needed for us to do well, which is  patience.

We get impatient and we quit, we get impatient cause we compare.
Impatience is perhaps the one thing that stops you from being great at what you do. Left guitar after 2 lessons, left dance classes after 3. You get my point? To get better you need time and patience both of which you won't have time for if you are simply comparing yourself.

Know your future:

Now its true you can't quite know what is in the future but everyone can assume where they will go by looking at where they are. We lie and say tomorrow we will do it, but its the habits of today that will make you. So, instead of racing against time, make it friend and work with. Use time well, use effort and energy well.


Get crazy confused :

Get confused, figure it out, take time out because kya pata kal ho na ho... I just had to. Now, let me tell you why its best to not race against the time but rather take the time. The answer is simple choices.

Your choices make or break you. What you did a few years ago shaped you. I know its daunting and not ideal but it better to know that you took your time to figure it out. A friend once told me "No one will never know you took a year off in 5 years." No one cares. You shouldn't too, stop doing what you are unsure of doing simply because you want to do something.  That was english my friends take it in. I am not even going to edit that cause it makes sense to me and you won't remember this in the next 5 years. So, Hah! jokes on you.


Now, I am not saying that you need to ninja chop your way into living life in your own terms and time. Maybe start small like budgeting out the vacation you always wanted to go to but never had the time, or that dress you always wanted to wear but was not "in style". For once listen to me or to Nike and Just do it! (in your own time) Start small and built big. Like many say "Rome was not built in a day" because it takes Time to built it! Duh.


Lots of love people with potential. I hope this post touched you where it matters (no pun intended) cause everyone needs a blog awakening sometimes ;)







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Sunday, March 19, 2017

The left-overs







Have you ever scrammed to the kitchen and whipped up something in a hurry? Has it turned out so good that you were actually surprised? Well, I am that small mountain of rice sitting at the far end of your refrigerator waiting to be turned into some scrumptious fried rice. No, I am not into something weird and this not my attempt at dirty talk.

I am like most of you just a  left-over in life. Let me explain what I mean by this.

Your vital years start in school, this is when people truly put there judgement on you. Are you smart? Naught? Funny?  Well the left-overs are a mixture of all but not quite a star in any. Which means that if we got lost in a school trip it would take them a good 2 days to realise that we were missing. Ouch. Maybe not that bad but you get the picture.

We in the quintessential sense never shined, may have in little tiny groups or in the corner of our houses but never bright enough to wow people with our intelligence or charisma, we were also not built to shine bright (this was humor. I know it was a bad one. quit judging me susan.)

We were the scraps of life that are left behind often a mix of plain rice or some achaar no one bothered to touch at the party. 

Not being picked stung at times, I mean questions would cross your mind, is it the way I look? smell? Why was I picked last or not celebrated like the rest of the people around me, am I not good enough?

Becoming a left over in school meant a lot of things in life it meant going to the average university and meeting average expectations.  I mean how much can a leftover aloo ko chaar really wow you?
Infact if you served left over to your guests they might actually be offended.

Don't get me wrong I did try to be picked first, I seasoned myself and even if I was the plate of plain rice I  tried to be the best god damn plate of rice there is. However, it was exhausting all I really wanted to be was a plate rice act plain and still be treated special cause people understood my value. The added effort seemed unfair as others were celebrated for being just themselves. Why couldn't I be celebrated for being a left over?



But it all changed one day.
The faithful day of ........(I am that person who doesn't remember dates or birthdays apologies in advance) well yes one fine day I ran (yes ran I do take food very seriously) to my kitchen and grabbed a plate of left over rice. I was hangry and 2 minutes away from turning into the furious hulk. I tossed that plate of rice, some veggies and improvised other things to whip up the most delicious tasting fried rice there is, sure it was not spectacular but it did the job. Stopped my hulk transformation.

That day I realized the importance of being a leftover, our job was not to shine through, it was to be there and help when needed. We provided security and comfort, we made an impact even after the big finish.


So here is to us, we may not be the first to get picked but we are still worthy, we may not have gone to the best schools but we are still capable. We may have not impressed everyone in the room but we can still leave a lasting impression. We may not have been the first momo to get picked out but we still made for a bomb tasting left over Kothey.


Cheers to all of you left-overs, even when the situation did not demand it you rose to the occasion. You tried even when no one noticed.  



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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Why Self-love is over-rated ?







You know what? Can I say it? You won't pounce on me if I do? I think Self love is over-rated. There I said it.

WHY ?

Well for instances there have been more times I have worried that I don't #Selflove myself than of times where I actually truly dislike myself. What? Has GWP lost it, nope. Well maybe a little, but haven't we all at one point.

What I mean is the pressure to love yourself and your flaws is so high right now that I feel my tinniest inclination of not feeling myself some days will ring the alarm for all the people who use #Slay #Self-love way too much on their instragram to come and pounce on me.

And frankly I can't be the only one feeling this. There are days when I feel fiery hot! Maybe not fiery but then that could also be cause I just ate 5 hot wings in one sitting but honestly some days everything works out. Your hair is on point, you are not bloated (that is the dream btw if you didn't know)and basically you embody the crown emoji with all its glory.

And then... there are days when your hair doesn't sit right, last night momo has left you feeling like one and well your nose ain't right and let me not start with the right side of your right eye! And before we label this as feminist or a woman thing let me just tell you that men have to bare the burden of looking great all the time aswell. And what is with looking tamed and like a wilder beast at the same time, when did that become a thing?

Anyhoo, ( this is my sad attempt at transition. Pardon by Fren....English!)

I am an avocado by nature which means neither can I say I am curvy and I love it, or walk a Victoria secrets ramp any time soon but the pressure I put on myself with the added pressure of wannabe feminist ad campaigns telling me to fix my flawless self gets to me. Why can't you be real and just go "Girl your hair is nasty, Go take wash it with Pantene Pro... whatever" ?

You can't do that cause no one would buy our product! Screams an overly worked marketing manager from somewhere. I feel you.

 Pantene won't say that because we like things that are  insincere in the most genuine way. We want you to believe a whole bunch of things even we ourselves don't believe in.

Times like these I wonder if Einstein sat in his chair going " Damn! I wish I had Shea butter up in this hair I need some serious moisturizing." God! How ignorant of thegirlwithpotential to boil down a genius into someone with body insecurities. To that I say, "Were you his friend? Did you see what he did alone in his bed room? " No? Alright then let me believe that Einstein had body issues cause damn right you and everyone in here needs to believe that he did, that even the great falter when it comes to poorly styled hair!

The world is changing from the collectivist that we were to now appreciating the dare devils the free thinkers, to now loving the the individualist. But, the funny part about being free thinkers and individualist is we have still not been able to shake of the collectivist in us, we want people to be themselves but only if they are  are the exact themselves we like; even when celebrating the imperfections we wanted it to be celebrated with perfection.

An avocado woman like myself can't go ugh I feel utterly disgusting today, nope. You have to embrace the avocado, be the avocado, eat the avocado.....Okay getting hungry. You get my point. Basically the new wave of Self love has hit us so hard that no one dare speak about what they dislike about their bodies or themselves because that in itself is self destructive, but is not internalizing all of this and crying in the room alone at night worse?

And as I sit here letting my double chin loose for wherever it hopes to go cause I sure as hell am not moving from this couch, I want you to tell you to let go aswell, let go of the pressure that you have to be a certain way, that you have take all the advices thrown at you, that you have to be perfect in all aspects.

You don't have to be the epitome of self-love just because you are a millennial. Educate yourself, but don't fester over it and insecurely promote positive body image on your social media page when in the loneliness of your home you still sometimes feel kind of ugly, its okay everyone does! Einstien did! or so I hope. Label Self-love the way you want to, for me its a celebration of good health not an insentience need to be perfect all the time.


With that sassy and salty post I wish you all a very happy Valentines day! It's all about you! 
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

If you have ever been scared to do anything in life......(Read this)






I am a nervous flyer but this only started happening up until a few years ago and fear is intense especially if the airports I am flying out from is cold and has nothing to do a.k.a Tribhuwan International Airport. However, thank you for the upgrades in the bathroom and toilet papers! Much needed.

 Now, I am not saying that I cannot go through the entire airport experience with a little tiny smirk and annoying eye rolls at the immigration, but I do have my little doubts of fear here and there when my mind gets the best of me or when the plane boogies in mid air. Come to think of it, I think most of us experience this.

FEAR IS FOR THE WEAK? SAY WHAT!!! 

I have grown like many in an environment in which being scared is immensely discouraged and considered inhuman almost, hence my fear of flying and therefore the acknowledgement of it always felt like a thing I was not supposed to do simply because it meant coming across as someone who was not as adventurous or fun. We all do this, judge someone bold enough to openly admit their fear, and praise those that say things like "Fear are for the weak or face your fear! ", masssiveeeee eye roll because this does not apply to everything! You would not be saying that if a tiger was chasing you. The point here is little fear is necessary cause when a tiger comes at you, you run. If you were stupid enough to think fear is for the weak, you would just sit there and face it eventually becoming its dinner. 


AMYGLADA GOT YOUR BACK! 


The need for fear is so important that our brain has a primitive region called amygdala that reminds us the potential risk each situations and stops us from acting on impulses that have grave consequences.  Which means even if you feel this need to open the airplane door and or run around naked in the flight, your amygdala will  help you control these instincts and go like "Hey slow down fella! you may get jailed or die for that". So you see fear is an important part of being because it not only helps us judge things effectively but also helps us from having a face off with a tiger or face jail time. 

However, not all of us have the same fears, some sky dive from an airplane while others are even scared to get on one. But, once we remove our selves from the misconception that fear is only for the weak, we stop labeling ourselves weak because we feel it. 


FEARFULLY HAPPY


We just established before that there should be absolutely no shame in having fears but that does not mean we should let it run our lives. Changing perception towards fear is the first step, once we realise fear is good for us and helpful the negative effect it has on us especially of embarrassment vanishes. I for one can openly talk about my fears and insecurities whereas I know many that cannot. 

Fear not only protects us from dangerous situation but if effectively managed can transform our lives.


How? 

Fear of not doing what you love motivates you to work harder on your passion and dreams. 
Fear of having poor health motivates you to change your life. 

Even our ancestors started to use survival skills like hunting, farming with the fear of starvation. 


Fear lets us know that something needs to be done for us to survive. 

And as for my fear of flying? Well, it just tells me that I need to  travel way more to essentially master it. ;) Any excuse I can get. Am I right? 

So, be fearfully proud and happy because fear is your friend. 


Plus, in order to be fearless one has to overcome fears!

Let people know how fearfully happy you are regardless of its a plan ride or starting a new project. Ahem Ahem I am looking at you people! Embrace your fear. (
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Friday, October 21, 2016

Don't be Fine.






As much as I try to be candid with my words the truth of the matter is I hide behind it. I hide because I am scared of judgement like most of you are. However, today I want to let my guard down, because it does not make sense to be half halfheartedly honest, it does not make sense to preach being yourself if at times you are so afraid to be you.

In my page, my life you will see that I support a lot of things anti-bullying, feminism, equality, happiness and mental health. I have my reasons, my experiences and whole lot more to credit for the way I am today, the reason I support the things I support and here is what I want to tell you.

This truth may not be what you are looking for, but my hope for any of my blog articles has been an escape for me and maybe happiness, comfort and joy for you.

Since a very young age I have felt pain, and this pain may not entirely be of the same context as yours or the same intensity and frequency. But pain is pain and it hurts. Meanwhile, I have also seen bad days and what I thought were bad days until I saw worse. In this time here, I have bared witness to lots, just like most of you have. So, this one goes out to all of you who are suffering, hurt, lost, confused for whatever reason. This one goes out to those who are in pain.

Don't Wear Your Pain 

Just because you are in pain, you don't have to act, live and be in pain. A lot of people know my story just like a lot of people know yours, friends, family and relatives. They listen when I share but in return some expect too,  you may ask what they might expect in a time like that? They expect that I act out the pain, they say  things like "wow! I never thought you have so much going on". The truth is I do, did and will have something going on for the rest of my life but that does not going on but it does not mean I have to plaster it on my face. Pain is real, raw but it is mostly always private. Your pain is a part of you but it does not have to define you.

Don't be Positive 
Don't be positive.Just be comfortable. Some people are so ferociously intent on being positive frankly its almost sickening. They shoo away their feelings, get uncomfortable around true human emotions. They basically want to function us clown robots. But, when you have emotions why not use them?
Human beings are given emotions to feel, to be, to express, to witness, why fight it. Do not fit into the idea of someone's pain. Find your own.If yours mean sulking for a day or two and picking yourself up, do it.


I say these two things to you because I know how it feels to force happiness when you don't want to. I know what it is like act fine when you are really. So, today I tell you to  okay to not be okay, I am not okay, to feel what you feel, as I try and find out my definition of pain.

Lastly, this post is inspired by mom who is always very comfortable with being herself and has taught me in more ways than one that just because you are in pain, you don't need to act it. 
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Saturday, October 8, 2016

You Are Not Special





One Simple Realization 



You are not special. You heard me right! You are not special. No, this is not my infamously known typos and... I will tell you why in just a minute. Raise your hand if you feel like your life is not where you want it to be? Or if your life mimics the uninterested emoji  which looks like it is neither here nor there.  I see a few raises there!  Now, what if I told you that you could change all of that with a one simple realization? Knowing that......

You Are Not Special! OUCH. 

What did you ever to do deserve this? You did one very small but significant thing, you assumed the world revolves around you and that you are a flying unicorn who encounters special things. Don't believe me? How many times have you looked at weightloss transformations and gone like you can't do this cause you are so and so, how many times have you heard an inspirational story and been inspired but next moment cited your "problems" as reasons to why you can't achieve them? If you are anything like me, by which I mean human I say many many times!

Knowing that you are not special does two things: First, you stop making those excuses. Second, when you are really in the mood to act like the lead in the movie who is feeling low and whose life is not going as planned you realize there are other people in the same spot as you. You feel me? I never say "You feel me" I just tried something new, cause I know I can and that me being being a certain way should not stop me for saying what I need to say. We are moving off topic let's zoom in again.


Everybody Feels 


So here it is:

You are not special because .......
everyone has to deal with difficult situation
everyone has to deal with difficult people or some one like trump :/
everyone hurts
everyone understands pain
everyone gets lonely
everyone feels lost
everyone feels uninspired
everyone gets their heart broken
everyone fails at least once

Your Mom Was Wrong


So next time you push off something because you feel uninspired or sad or upset know that everyone does and it is time you got over yourself and realize Your mom was wrong, YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. You are like everyone else, if they can do it, so can you.
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Saturday, September 24, 2016

How BAD is your luck?








People refer to luck as if it’s momos being handed out by an overly picky aunt, like you get lots but the cousin she hates gets very little. Come on we all know that one person who shows their favoritism through food ;) However, The idea of luck has always perplexed me, who decides how good or bad the persons luck really is? What are the parameters of luck?

Recently my cousin could not go to specific country to study cause of her visa issues, hence she decided to go somewhere else, like her dear old sister J However, since everything here revolves around a visa the aunties sat behind a round table discussion and went to town with how bad the 19 year old luck was.

To me this bad luck did not make sense, why would a rejected visa be considered that? Why the difference in opinion between the aunties and  I? Then it hit me, it was not truly that my cousin was bitten by the bad luck bug but instead the aunties simply did not understand where her life was heading and labelled it that. 

Don't we always do this? Feel sorry for people who are in fact quite inspiring? Who have struggles and illnesses but try, are happy, defying the rules, conquering their world in their own terms?

We want people to rue in their bad luck, bathe in it. In fact, take a glass of wine with them and sit their bathing in the bubble bath of bad luck. But. Just because we want them to, does not mean they have to. A person who is said to have "bad luck" or "hardships" does not need to live the way you imagine they should. They do not need to sob, cry and curse their so called luck.

Yes, for you it may be bad luck, for the person facing the so called ""luck an opportunity, new perspective, experiment or a lesson. Let us not label what we fail to understand as bad luck, not everyone’s life journey needs to make sense to us.

So, how much would you think now before labeling something as bad luck?



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