Sunday, July 23, 2017

If you have ever felt judged read this.......

Judgement takes an instant to make, you may have made one looking at this post just now. While having a judgement is fairly common, when it is directed towards you and challenges your beliefs and life choices it can be extremely life consuming and difficult to swallow. Why? Because you are at crossroad now, wanting to change the perception of the someone who judged you and annoyed for their right to.

If only there is way to get out of this.

What if I told you there is?

A few years ago I had gone to a Mata (the enlightened) woman many of us go to perhaps to make sense of our unforeseeable future,  she put 3 grains of rice on her hands looks up at me and me and says.

" You will have a good future ahead, but you need be careful as people may misunderstand you."

At that moment what she said had rung true and I gleamed in gratitude for I had found someone who truly understood me. As a young girl who was bullied for 2 years straight, I was extremely conscious of how people perceived me.

Constantly worried of how my actions were interpreted, it did not help that I had the resting bitch face to go with it.

When Mata told me what I already knew, it became my "Yes! Yes! Yes!" moment I know how you read that you cheeky fellow, but quite frankly to have been understood so deeply by someone when I felt alone was everything to me.

Hence, I took her advice seriously and did my very best and became extraaaaaa careful of not being misjudged. However, soon I realized  what that meant.

- Doing nothing
-Saying nothing

Going against my natural state of expressing was hard and soon went to bust when some tried to pick a fight with me cause I looked mean.

Now, I could try and change a lot of my behavior to not get judged but I only had this one face was and I was not ready to give that.

So, I gave up trying not to be misjudged and instead tried understood why people judged only to find out way not to give a F*** when they did.

1. People change all the time:

People and perception change all the time, it depends on your actions, their mood, their current state and so much more. Whether it is acceptance or rejection towards you, the whole point of holding on to what people think of you too tight seems mindless because when the perceptions are so fleeting why shouldn't your emotion attached to the perception be aswell?

2. It is not their job

Why do people try to do well in their jobs, due to incentives. Incentives that come in various forms; social standing, money, a sense of self worth and more. But, what incentive do they have to not make a judgement about you? None or very little. I guess you know where I am going with this, with freedom speech and no taxation on judgement, people be making it left and right.

3. Face the reality

As much as writing inspiring things motivates people, there should always be a strong ring of honesty in what is being said. And the reality sadly is that sometimes people will simply not get you, no matter how  hard you may have tried to make them understand.Its neither their fault or yours, but a clash between beliefs, nurture and nature that affects it all. So face it, you will piss off people in your life time, and people will you piss you off.

Some people will not get you and you wont get them.


4. Cliche Advise still holds true : Get Over It! 

I know its too cliche to use this over and over again but just get over it, one opinion or even a million does not seem to be worth losing out or giving in on being the person you intent to be and while this is not a free pass to act mean and rude it is a pass to take breather and just do what you need to without the overrated idea that people need to get you because the truth of the matter is sometimes they will and sometimes they won't.

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