Why I love My Mediocre Life

Go hard or Go home.

I am going home. So much more comfort there.

So my life took a quick 180 turn (are you not glad I didn't say 360 ? ) I did actually and quickly changed it. How quirky am I? Very. This is not an act.

In the light of last year ladies and gentleman please welcome by ADHD once again!2018 Oh! what a year it will be! I am asking.What a year it will be ?

Because, for the first time in my life! I have absolutely no glorified expectations of it. No, me winning at life or having monumental moments.

Well, is that not damaging to yourself? How will you achieve things and goals?

I don't think so, you see the later bit of 2017 was for me all about facing the iffy decisions I made in the beginning of the year, facing the consequences as an adult, which I realized is very different compared to facing it when your family has messed up... and boy oh boy have we. But, that can be some other blog.

Here, this instant I talk to you about leaving out expectations of the future. I get it, the New Year New Me catches on like flu in season change and no matter how much you try you simply cannot shake it off, you get all reflective start thinking that 2018 is your year, try to find meaning, closure.

But, sometimes the only closure you get is of you listening to the closer, Wow! That was bad even for me. 

 Acceptance of the Mediocre 

Let me make the connection here, so I have always been someone who devours self-help books and writes their goals down always hustling always trying to find a way and do something. Any thing! frankly I feel like its a drug but one day everything went to shit and I faced an adult adversity, something in me snapped.

My innate ability to fix it or look for an alternative like I always do became irrelevant when a realization summed my life up, the one that made me realize the mediocrity of it and...

Poof! went my anxiety.
Why?

Because I stopped waiting for my dhantanan moment, the one where Kajol runs for Sharukhan.

I realized at best I would only do a little wiggly walk to catch the bus and that is about it. No, dramatic train run ins, no 3 minute videos on hustling videos to sum up a life time choices and hard work.

Just acceptance of the average events, the average life.

Don't hate on me I love life, in fact the more mediocre I have come to accept it to be, the more amazing it is.

From looking out for extraordinary things has snaped me out of mundanes, it has made me aware of what life really is.

A cup of tea
My granny recalling her dreams and telling it to me in an elaborate manner

More so, of what Life has been for me for the past few years, a series of moments some a little more significant, a roller coaster, filled with pain, failure, acceptance, happiness and contentment (Sometimes all in the same day).

GO Hard or GO Home? Do both if you wish!

 Now, I accept that I don't need to make every moment count,  that everything needs to make sense. I know that I do not need to go "hard" that sounds weird I know cheeky fellows but you get my point.

Life for now is mediocre, is about sleeping in, its about achieving my goals without the expectation of praise or admiration. Its stillness.

It took a lot to except that this time I am not going hard but instead freaking going home, home where comfort lies but boundless opportunities too. If you want it to be ? Why not? Who is going to stop you?

Knowing that you do not need to fancy office to make money

Go out to parties to ring in the new year (although I did and it was fun) but not mandatory.

That life does not always need to be drinking wine in sky scrapers, its really not. When I accepted life as the mundane course of event it is, I must say it pretty darn boring and fabulous.