Why I love My Mediocre Life

Go hard or Go home.

I am going home. So much more comfort there.

So my life took a quick 180 turn (are you not glad I didn't say 360 ? ) I did actually and quickly changed it. How quirky am I? Very. This is not an act.

In the light of last year ladies and gentleman please welcome by ADHD once again!2018 Oh! what a year it will be! I am asking.What a year it will be ?

Because, for the first time in my life! I have absolutely no glorified expectations of it. No, me winning at life or having monumental moments.

Well, is that not damaging to yourself? How will you achieve things and goals?

I don't think so, you see the later bit of 2017 was for me all about facing the iffy decisions I made in the beginning of the year, facing the consequences as an adult, which I realized is very different compared to facing it when your family has messed up... and boy oh boy have we. But, that can be some other blog.

Here, this instant I talk to you about leaving out expectations of the future. I get it, the New Year New Me catches on like flu in season change and no matter how much you try you simply cannot shake it off, you get all reflective start thinking that 2018 is your year, try to find meaning, closure.

But, sometimes the only closure you get is of you listening to the closer, Wow! That was bad even for me. 

 Acceptance of the Mediocre 

Let me make the connection here, so I have always been someone who devours self-help books and writes their goals down always hustling always trying to find a way and do something. Any thing! frankly I feel like its a drug but one day everything went to shit and I faced an adult adversity, something in me snapped.

My innate ability to fix it or look for an alternative like I always do became irrelevant when a realization summed my life up, the one that made me realize the mediocrity of it and...

Poof! went my anxiety.
Why?

Because I stopped waiting for my dhantanan moment, the one where Kajol runs for Sharukhan.

I realized at best I would only do a little wiggly walk to catch the bus and that is about it. No, dramatic train run ins, no 3 minute videos on hustling videos to sum up a life time choices and hard work.

Just acceptance of the average events, the average life.

Don't hate on me I love life, in fact the more mediocre I have come to accept it to be, the more amazing it is.

From looking out for extraordinary things has snaped me out of mundanes, it has made me aware of what life really is.

A cup of tea
My granny recalling her dreams and telling it to me in an elaborate manner

More so, of what Life has been for me for the past few years, a series of moments some a little more significant, a roller coaster, filled with pain, failure, acceptance, happiness and contentment (Sometimes all in the same day).

GO Hard or GO Home? Do both if you wish!

 Now, I accept that I don't need to make every moment count,  that everything needs to make sense. I know that I do not need to go "hard" that sounds weird I know cheeky fellows but you get my point.

Life for now is mediocre, is about sleeping in, its about achieving my goals without the expectation of praise or admiration. Its stillness.

It took a lot to except that this time I am not going hard but instead freaking going home, home where comfort lies but boundless opportunities too. If you want it to be ? Why not? Who is going to stop you?

Knowing that you do not need to fancy office to make money

Go out to parties to ring in the new year (although I did and it was fun) but not mandatory.

That life does not always need to be drinking wine in sky scrapers, its really not. When I accepted life as the mundane course of event it is, I must say it pretty darn boring and fabulous.

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Your Passion Will Not Please You. Not Always.

I have written many posts on passion or the rather on the redundant and over used titles of "Do what you love". But as I am reaching my mid 20's I have come to realize that its not about doing what you love but sticking to what you love even when at that particular moment you do not enjoy it.

And as I listen to positive vibe mixes on youtube with their perfect peach butt emoji like thumbnail, I can't help but really question is life all about doing what you love? In my recent series of knowledge and incidents of my life, it definitely is not, even the youtube click bait remix over done  edm music took perhaps hours to compile and while in our heads we see a cool looking hipster dude busting out the beats while throwing his hand in the air, while the peach emoji girl hands him his favorite drink the reality can possibly be a sweaty dude probably with diet coke in his hand slogging good hours in the back doors of his study or ragidity old studio putting in his 110% even if he does not want to.

Unfortunately, while you and I both would love to think and believe that doing what we love will always feel like a vacation the truth is it usually feels like conscious decision. A decision to forgo your ego, learn and grow. To leave out the things you like to do things that you need. Late nights to make good work happen, rather then drunken nights with your friends.



A whole lot of creative difference, dealing with new people, questioning your talent, questioning your work, questioning what works and what does not. Your passion is not their to please you, its not their to tell you hey its okay slack away you deserve it, its their to make you feel uncomfortable as you waste your years youtubing food recipes you will not make, its about giving it your all even when you do not really want to.

Its at times putting yourself out there being vulnerable and honest and at time working hard and still not getting the results.

Passion is not perfection.

I hope this helped those that feel lost even whilst doing the things they love. Sometimes you are not supposed to love the things you usually love. Its about doing the things you love even when you really don't love it at that particular moment. 

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Chips Chilly or Aloo Dum? What kind of Nepali Are You & Does it Matter?

The standard food ordering for any Nepali consists of momo, some kind of chilli and a fried starch.

Hence, on one particular day just like most times,  my friends and I ensued in the standard proceedings of ordering food

1.Chicken momo
2. Chips Chilli
3. Chicke....fooled you, we decided to go with something a little different and went with Veg fried rice this time. Everyone likes change.


But today as we were going with standard checklist of food and about to wrap up a friend from the corner yelled out " Dai euta aloo dum". We all looked at him  kind of amused by this, although a  not so strange addition to the usual ordering it rather a small deviation from the standard. 

If you don't know by now my love for food is endless and hence my friends and I welcome this addition with open arms.

Is the comparison making you hungry? Okay. Okay. I will get to the point.

Now, in life a friend may not take the path of aloo dum but instead his/her difference in choice could be in the life he leads, the outfit she wears and the way  they live.

While Aloo dum is welcoming, him embracing is sexuality or passion may not be.

You may not understand it or find his way of life worthy of acceptance.

And, while the potato chilli or aloo chilli debate is not as debatable, how someone lives their life
certainly becomes one.

 For generaaaaaationnnnnsss we have heard insert annoying aunty voice "What will people think?" and diligently obliged to the unforeseen rules and costs of just being ourselves.

The cost ? It can range from back handed comments to honor killing. Killing just because the society fails to accept or understand their choices.

And although acceptance and respect something all of us deserve it becomes the hardest to give and what ensues as a result? Judgement.

Judgement we pass on the good decision and the bad.
On the passionates and the passives
On the dreamers, the non-dreamers and the doers
On the living and the dead

We  let judgement take over and go after those who tried loaded mash potato instead of the chips chilly or even those who do not like potatoes at ( Yes, there are people who do not like potatoes. I know. Unbelievable).



The point here is, potatoes on the side or no potatoes at all when judging someone for their food sounds unusual, why doesn't judging someone who is simply trying to do their best life?  

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The timeliners

So when are you getting married?

When are you getting your masters?

When are you getting that new job?

When. When. When.

These questions or rather questions like these are forever imposed on us. Quiet frankly we impose them on ourselves too and with time the questions change aswell. No one knows exactly why we do it,  sometimes its because our friends are doing the exact same thing. Or its the "right thing" to do.

And I agree there are certain things you have to do in order to go somewhere or be something. Your life will not get any momentum unless you make changes and decide to move wherever, no I don't mean take your coffee from the kitchen and sit in the couch! No No!

What I mean is, sometimes life choices are hard but needed if you want that extra cash, if you want your own business, if you want whatever you want. It won't just drop on your lap.....unless you want rain and even then you need to sit outside! But, what happens when these timelines come in between what you want to do and what you are supposed to do?

You guessed it. We get stressed. Now, I would have to admit that this generation perhaps is the most stressed generation of all times and it is for a number of reasons but more so because its so easy to compare yourself with someone. Now you can compare yourself with someone in the other side of globe, people you don't even know, people you may never meet. Times were simpler when it was just your bitchy aunty comparing everyone was it not? Well, that is life, with the good of  being connected there comes a whole lot of comparing.


But, how do we stop these ? Stop ourselves from turning into ticking time bombs.

Learn patience :

So here is what I tell you. When stressed forget the rest. Forget what your far cousin is doing and when he did it. Forget what your best friend is doing and when he did it. The truth is we all are so busy trying to be the timeliners we forget the one thing needed for us to do well, which is  patience.

We get impatient and we quit, we get impatient cause we compare.
Impatience is perhaps the one thing that stops you from being great at what you do. Left guitar after 2 lessons, left dance classes after 3. You get my point? To get better you need time and patience both of which you won't have time for if you are simply comparing yourself.

Know your future:

Now its true you can't quite know what is in the future but everyone can assume where they will go by looking at where they are. We lie and say tomorrow we will do it, but its the habits of today that will make you. So, instead of racing against time, make it friend and work with. Use time well, use effort and energy well.


Get crazy confused :

Get confused, figure it out, take time out because kya pata kal ho na ho... I just had to. Now, let me tell you why its best to not race against the time but rather take the time. The answer is simple choices.

Your choices make or break you. What you did a few years ago shaped you. I know its daunting and not ideal but it better to know that you took your time to figure it out. A friend once told me "No one will never know you took a year off in 5 years." No one cares. You shouldn't too, stop doing what you are unsure of doing simply because you want to do something.  That was english my friends take it in. I am not even going to edit that cause it makes sense to me and you won't remember this in the next 5 years. So, Hah! jokes on you.


Now, I am not saying that you need to ninja chop your way into living life in your own terms and time. Maybe start small like budgeting out the vacation you always wanted to go to but never had the time, or that dress you always wanted to wear but was not "in style". For once listen to me or to Nike and Just do it! (in your own time) Start small and built big. Like many say "Rome was not built in a day" because it takes Time to built it! Duh.


Lots of love people with potential. I hope this post touched you where it matters (no pun intended) cause everyone needs a blog awakening sometimes ;)

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Why Self-love is over-rated ?

You know what? Can I say it? You won't pounce on me if I do? I think Self love is over-rated. There I said it.

WHY ?

Well for instances there have been more times I have worried that I don't #Selflove myself than of times where I actually truly dislike myself. What? Has GWP lost it, nope. Well maybe a little, but haven't we all at one point.

What I mean is the pressure to love yourself and your flaws is so high right now that I feel my tinniest inclination of not feeling myself some days will ring the alarm for all the people who use #Slay #Self-love way too much on their instragram to come and pounce on me.

And frankly I can't be the only one feeling this. There are days when I feel fiery hot! Maybe not fiery but then that could also be cause I just ate 5 hot wings in one sitting but honestly some days everything works out. Your hair is on point, you are not bloated (that is the dream btw if you didn't know)and basically you embody the crown emoji with all its glory.

And then... there are days when your hair doesn't sit right, last night momo has left you feeling like one and well your nose ain't right and let me not start with the right side of your right eye! And before we label this as feminist or a woman thing let me just tell you that men have to bare the burden of looking great all the time aswell. And what is with looking tamed and like a wilder beast at the same time, when did that become a thing?

Anyhoo, ( this is my sad attempt at transition. Pardon by Fren....English!)

I am an avocado by nature which means neither can I say I am curvy and I love it, or walk a Victoria secrets ramp any time soon but the pressure I put on myself with the added pressure of wannabe feminist ad campaigns telling me to fix my flawless self gets to me. Why can't you be real and just go "Girl your hair is nasty, Go take wash it with Pantene Pro... whatever" ?

You can't do that cause no one would buy our product! Screams an overly worked marketing manager from somewhere. I feel you.

 Pantene won't say that because we like things that are  insincere in the most genuine way. We want you to believe a whole bunch of things even we ourselves don't believe in.

Times like these I wonder if Einstein sat in his chair going " Damn! I wish I had Shea butter up in this hair I need some serious moisturizing." God! How ignorant of thegirlwithpotential to boil down a genius into someone with body insecurities. To that I say, "Were you his friend? Did you see what he did alone in his bed room? " No? Alright then let me believe that Einstein had body issues cause damn right you and everyone in here needs to believe that he did, that even the great falter when it comes to poorly styled hair!

The world is changing from the collectivist that we were to now appreciating the dare devils the free thinkers, to now loving the the individualist. But, the funny part about being free thinkers and individualist is we have still not been able to shake of the collectivist in us, we want people to be themselves but only if they are  are the exact themselves we like; even when celebrating the imperfections we wanted it to be celebrated with perfection.

An avocado woman like myself can't go ugh I feel utterly disgusting today, nope. You have to embrace the avocado, be the avocado, eat the avocado.....Okay getting hungry. You get my point. Basically the new wave of Self love has hit us so hard that no one dare speak about what they dislike about their bodies or themselves because that in itself is self destructive, but is not internalizing all of this and crying in the room alone at night worse?

And as I sit here letting my double chin loose for wherever it hopes to go cause I sure as hell am not moving from this couch, I want you to tell you to let go aswell, let go of the pressure that you have to be a certain way, that you have take all the advices thrown at you, that you have to be perfect in all aspects.

You don't have to be the epitome of self-love just because you are a millennial. Educate yourself, but don't fester over it and insecurely promote positive body image on your social media page when in the loneliness of your home you still sometimes feel kind of ugly, its okay everyone does! Einstien did! or so I hope. Label Self-love the way you want to, for me its a celebration of good health not an insentience need to be perfect all the time.


With that sassy and salty post I wish you all a very happy Valentines day! It's all about you! 

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Don't be Fine.

As much as I try to be candid with my words the truth of the matter is I hide behind it. I hide because I am scared of judgement like most of you are. However, today I want to let my guard down, because it does not make sense to be half halfheartedly honest, it does not make sense to preach being yourself if at times you are so afraid to be you.

In my page, my life you will see that I support a lot of things anti-bullying, feminism, equality, happiness and mental health. I have my reasons, my experiences and whole lot more to credit for the way I am today, the reason I support the things I support and here is what I want to tell you.

This truth may not be what you are looking for, but my hope for any of my blog articles has been an escape for me and maybe happiness, comfort and joy for you.

Since a very young age I have felt pain, and this pain may not entirely be of the same context as yours or the same intensity and frequency. But pain is pain and it hurts. Meanwhile, I have also seen bad days and what I thought were bad days until I saw worse. In this time here, I have bared witness to lots, just like most of you have. So, this one goes out to all of you who are suffering, hurt, lost, confused for whatever reason. This one goes out to those who are in pain.

Don't Wear Your Pain 

Just because you are in pain, you don't have to act, live and be in pain. A lot of people know my story just like a lot of people know yours, friends, family and relatives. They listen when I share but in return some expect too,  you may ask what they might expect in a time like that? They expect that I act out the pain, they say  things like "wow! I never thought you have so much going on". The truth is I do, did and will have something going on for the rest of my life but that does not mean I have to plaster it on my face. Pain is real, raw but it is mostly always private. Your pain is a part of you but it does not have to define you.

Don't be Positive 
Don't be positive.Just be comfortable. Some people are so ferociously intent on being positive frankly its almost sickening. They shoo away their feelings, get uncomfortable around true human emotions. They basically want to function us clown robots. But, when you have emotions why not use them?
Human beings are given emotions to feel, to be, to express, to witness, why fight it. Do not fit into the idea of someone's pain. Find your own.If yours mean sulking for a day or two and picking yourself up, do it.


I say these two things to you because I know how it feels to force happiness when you don't want to. I know what it is like act fine when you are really not. So, today I tell you to be  okay of  not being okay, I am not okay, to feel what you feel, as I try and find out my definition of pain.

I leave you at that. If you are not fine you are not fine, know one should make you feel bad for it.

Lots of love <3 

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