Monday, March 10, 2014

My journey to beautiful

If I lose 5 pounds then I will be happier, if I was fairer, If my skin was brighter, if i was taller, if I were more curvy. These are just some of the things we tell ourselves because we are unsatisfied with the way we look. I have always thought that my nose was little too flat, my face a bit too broad, my eyes a little too small, my weight just a wee bit more. I have come to realise that obsessing over these things have made me want to try harder to look like someone that I probably will never. I was born as a mongolian girl so I will stay like one, my nose with not get straighter until I go under the knife and neither do I have that kind of money or guts. Even so I do not want to risk looking like an emotionless barbie or worse Bruce jenner! So I am sticking to my nose and my broad face.

I was a part of a conference where a former Miss Malaysia came in, she gave me certain insight on how the mind of a supposedly beauty with brain works (not generalizing). When asked what beauty is and how advertisements have planted a certain image of beautiful in a person’s mind her answers were a bit too shocking.

She started off by saying that it was a typical question, well at least she was not diplomatic let’s give her that.  However, I do not think the question was typical but in fact a serious issue that needed some addressing! It’s not typical at all to know that a lot of us suffer from self image issues and are almost programmed to conform to a certain kind of ways to look beautiful. She added that if you do not like something change it. More so she went on to say that if you are chubby go to the gym if you are short go to china for a surgery?? To give her the benefit of the doubt this was a "joke" on her part. This struck me as odd and ignorant, a clear mirrored opinion of what generally the society thinks, a chubby person is often made fun of or talked about but never does the society seem to consider that maybe this is her beautiful?  

You can do as many surgeries you want, get as thin as possible but all that does not change the fact that at the end of the day when you look at the mirror you might still find yourself ugly, fat, broad and it goes on.

When I read about the worlds supposed "ugliest woman" and how she took it upon her to inspire motivate many. It dawned on me. Being beautiful is to accept who you are, your personality, where you come from and what you are.  Be proud of my Mongolian background and my nose. I do want to get fitter but this is a desire of personal development what we can change. Accepting the thing we cannot change and learning to find the beauty in it is my journey to beautiful. I am still at the starting point I still complain, fuss about the way I look but I will get there and so should you.