Your Passion Will Not Please You. Not Always.

I have written many posts on passion or the rather on the redundant and over used titles of "Do what you love". But as I am reaching my mid 20's I have come to realize that its not about doing what you love but sticking to what you love even when at that particular moment you do not enjoy it.

And as I listen to positive vibe mixes on youtube with their perfect peach butt emoji like thumbnail, I can't help but really question is life all about doing what you love? In my recent series of knowledge and incidents of my life, it definitely is not, even the youtube click bait remix over done  edm music took perhaps hours to compile and while in our heads we see a cool looking hipster dude busting out the beats while throwing his hand in the air, while the peach emoji girl hands him his favorite drink the reality can possibly be a sweaty dude probably with diet coke in his hand slogging good hours in the back doors of his study or ragidity old studio putting in his 110% even if he does not want to.

Unfortunately, while you and I both would love to think and believe that doing what we love will always feel like a vacation the truth is it usually feels like conscious decision. A decision to forgo your ego, learn and grow. To leave out the things you like to do things that you need. Late nights to make good work happen, rather then drunken nights with your friends.



A whole lot of creative difference, dealing with new people, questioning your talent, questioning your work, questioning what works and what does not. Your passion is not their to please you, its not their to tell you hey its okay slack away you deserve it, its their to make you feel uncomfortable as you waste your years youtubing food recipes you will not make, its about giving it your all even when you do not really want to.

Its at times putting yourself out there being vulnerable and honest and at time working hard and still not getting the results.

Passion is not perfection.

I hope this helped those that feel lost even whilst doing the things they love. Sometimes you are not supposed to love the things you usually love. Its about doing the things you love even when you really don't love it at that particular moment. 

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Having Passion can destroy you ...............here is why.....

The blogging hiatus stops here and now We Talk. A lot of the times suffering is silent and I would say mine is to, amidst all the going ons I lost my sense of self and my willingness to write. What came so naturally did not anymore, none of it did and that is why I decided take a break from it.

What bothered me more than anything in this time was my inability to understand how I may have just outgrown the thing I love, my passion, my love for writing.

It was not some terrible incident that led me to stop my writing mid clasps (of the keyboard) I should explain I have a fairly old laptop so every time I type it gives of that typewritery sound. Yes,
I shall choose to believe its a word and shall use it profusely. Coming back, my reasons to stop what I love doing did not come from any distress, it simply arrived without notice and took away something special to me.

And here is where I talk about passion and what the world never told me about it:

LET'S TALK ABOUT PASSION BABY! 

How I thought it worked :

Having passion meant you beep your way through it like a road runner,
I believed passion just came from within, it needed no persistence,
and while I may sound slightly naive for this I also believed having passion made things easy, I believed every motivational poster out there that took 5 minutes to make which stated that those who had passion had it all, that it was passion that was the key to everything.


Boy! was I dead wrong!!


What Passion really is? 

Passion is just a spark, for it to turn into fire people refer to so much,  it needs goes through a complicated process of the hard, slow, fast and easy stages of cultivation and nurture.


Passion is the pizza dough, if you don't work hard enough you may just end of up with bread. But, for it to become the cheesy goodness that it is, you need ingredients just like for passion to STAY and Passion to grow you need energy and commitment.

Passion takes work and it can be emotionally draining, it forces you to make choices, one that either leads you to opportunities or de-tracks you from it.

Think of the one thing that you were passionate about in the past?
Ask yourself this: Why did you stop?

Because the world gave us this idealized version of what passion is and without complaints we took it.

We believed that passion is the burning drive that pushed us to keep going, while we forgot that we are humans and we need to refuel, get our energy, that unlike things in the movies it does take time for passion to grow.

While the worlds version of passion might motivate us for a second, it is our understanding of how passion actually works that will keep us growing.


Therefore, let's broaden our idea of what Passion is and how it works:

Passion works when you have the determination
It works when you revive it, nurture it, accepting that just passion may not be enough
Passion sometimes can feel more like a chore than an exciting expedition
And,
passion sometimes means losing it and then working hard to get it back because you know its important for you.

As I sit here slouching in my couch working hard to bring my passion back I tell you to give your
 long forgotten passion projects or life choices one last push, give it time and understand that passion is not a blazing fire but a slight spark that needs nourishment to grow.




Have a lovely rest of the day people!

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The timeliners

So when are you getting married?

When are you getting your masters?

When are you getting that new job?

When. When. When.

These questions or rather questions like these are forever imposed on us. Quiet frankly we impose them on ourselves too and with time the questions change aswell. No one knows exactly why we do it,  sometimes its because our friends are doing the exact same thing. Or its the "right thing" to do.

And I agree there are certain things you have to do in order to go somewhere or be something. Your life will not get any momentum unless you make changes and decide to move wherever, no I don't mean take your coffee from the kitchen and sit in the couch! No No!

What I mean is, sometimes life choices are hard but needed if you want that extra cash, if you want your own business, if you want whatever you want. It won't just drop on your lap.....unless you want rain and even then you need to sit outside! But, what happens when these timelines come in between what you want to do and what you are supposed to do?

You guessed it. We get stressed. Now, I would have to admit that this generation perhaps is the most stressed generation of all times and it is for a number of reasons but more so because its so easy to compare yourself with someone. Now you can compare yourself with someone in the other side of globe, people you don't even know, people you may never meet. Times were simpler when it was just your bitchy aunty comparing everyone was it not? Well, that is life, with the good of  being connected there comes a whole lot of comparing.


But, how do we stop these ? Stop ourselves from turning into ticking time bombs.

Learn patience :

So here is what I tell you. When stressed forget the rest. Forget what your far cousin is doing and when he did it. Forget what your best friend is doing and when he did it. The truth is we all are so busy trying to be the timeliners we forget the one thing needed for us to do well, which is  patience.

We get impatient and we quit, we get impatient cause we compare.
Impatience is perhaps the one thing that stops you from being great at what you do. Left guitar after 2 lessons, left dance classes after 3. You get my point? To get better you need time and patience both of which you won't have time for if you are simply comparing yourself.

Know your future:

Now its true you can't quite know what is in the future but everyone can assume where they will go by looking at where they are. We lie and say tomorrow we will do it, but its the habits of today that will make you. So, instead of racing against time, make it friend and work with. Use time well, use effort and energy well.


Get crazy confused :

Get confused, figure it out, take time out because kya pata kal ho na ho... I just had to. Now, let me tell you why its best to not race against the time but rather take the time. The answer is simple choices.

Your choices make or break you. What you did a few years ago shaped you. I know its daunting and not ideal but it better to know that you took your time to figure it out. A friend once told me "No one will never know you took a year off in 5 years." No one cares. You shouldn't too, stop doing what you are unsure of doing simply because you want to do something.  That was english my friends take it in. I am not even going to edit that cause it makes sense to me and you won't remember this in the next 5 years. So, Hah! jokes on you.


Now, I am not saying that you need to ninja chop your way into living life in your own terms and time. Maybe start small like budgeting out the vacation you always wanted to go to but never had the time, or that dress you always wanted to wear but was not "in style". For once listen to me or to Nike and Just do it! (in your own time) Start small and built big. Like many say "Rome was not built in a day" because it takes Time to built it! Duh.


Lots of love people with potential. I hope this post touched you where it matters (no pun intended) cause everyone needs a blog awakening sometimes ;)

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Don't be Fine.

As much as I try to be candid with my words the truth of the matter is I hide behind it. I hide because I am scared of judgement like most of you are. However, today I want to let my guard down, because it does not make sense to be half halfheartedly honest, it does not make sense to preach being yourself if at times you are so afraid to be you.

In my page, my life you will see that I support a lot of things anti-bullying, feminism, equality, happiness and mental health. I have my reasons, my experiences and whole lot more to credit for the way I am today, the reason I support the things I support and here is what I want to tell you.

This truth may not be what you are looking for, but my hope for any of my blog articles has been an escape for me and maybe happiness, comfort and joy for you.

Since a very young age I have felt pain, and this pain may not entirely be of the same context as yours or the same intensity and frequency. But pain is pain and it hurts. Meanwhile, I have also seen bad days and what I thought were bad days until I saw worse. In this time here, I have bared witness to lots, just like most of you have. So, this one goes out to all of you who are suffering, hurt, lost, confused for whatever reason. This one goes out to those who are in pain.

Don't Wear Your Pain 

Just because you are in pain, you don't have to act, live and be in pain. A lot of people know my story just like a lot of people know yours, friends, family and relatives. They listen when I share but in return some expect too,  you may ask what they might expect in a time like that? They expect that I act out the pain, they say  things like "wow! I never thought you have so much going on". The truth is I do, did and will have something going on for the rest of my life but that does not mean I have to plaster it on my face. Pain is real, raw but it is mostly always private. Your pain is a part of you but it does not have to define you.

Don't be Positive 
Don't be positive.Just be comfortable. Some people are so ferociously intent on being positive frankly its almost sickening. They shoo away their feelings, get uncomfortable around true human emotions. They basically want to function us clown robots. But, when you have emotions why not use them?
Human beings are given emotions to feel, to be, to express, to witness, why fight it. Do not fit into the idea of someone's pain. Find your own.If yours mean sulking for a day or two and picking yourself up, do it.


I say these two things to you because I know how it feels to force happiness when you don't want to. I know what it is like act fine when you are really not. So, today I tell you to be  okay of  not being okay, I am not okay, to feel what you feel, as I try and find out my definition of pain.

I leave you at that. If you are not fine you are not fine, know one should make you feel bad for it.

Lots of love <3 

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How BAD is your luck?

People refer to luck as if it’s momos being handed out by an overly picky aunt, like you get lots but the cousin she hates gets very little. Come on we all know that one person who shows their favoritism through food ;) However, The idea of luck has always perplexed me, who decides how good or bad the persons luck really is? What are the parameters of luck?

Recently my cousin could not go to specific country to study cause of her visa issues, hence she decided to go somewhere else, like her dear old sister J However, since everything here revolves around a visa the aunties sat behind a round table discussion and went to town with how bad the 19 year old luck was.

To me this bad luck did not make sense, why would a rejected visa be considered that? Why the difference in opinion between the aunties and  I? Then it hit me, it was not truly that my cousin was bitten by the bad luck bug but instead the aunties simply did not understand where her life was heading and labelled it that. 

Don't we always do this? Feel sorry for people who are in fact quite inspiring? Who have struggles and illnesses but try, are happy, defying the rules, conquering their world in their own terms?

We want people to rue in their bad luck, bathe in it. In fact, take a glass of wine with them and sit their bathing in the bubble bath of bad luck. But. Just because we want them to, does not mean they have to. A person who is said to have "bad luck" or "hardships" does not need to live the way you imagine they should. They do not need to sob, cry and curse their so called luck.

Yes, for you it may be bad luck, for the person facing the so called ""luck an opportunity, new perspective, experiment or a lesson. Let us not label what we fail to understand as bad luck, not everyone’s life journey needs to make sense to us.

So, how much would you think now before labeling something as bad luck?

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If you have a fear of happiness...................................(Read this)

It is called Cherophobia, the fear of joy in life and it is not an insane thing to have.

FEAR OF JOY 

It happened almost suddenly I was very happy about something, I do not remember why I was happy but  I remember this fear made feel. I was anxious and it did not make sense, "normal people" would not be thinking of such in that moment,  my life was going exactly as planned, I may have achieved something, had love in my life or a purpose I always had fear, but the fear of it being "too good to be true", the fear that "it may not be the same after a time passes." robbed me of the happiness. I was scared of being happy because past had taught me that it may not last.

I was just waiting for all of it to go to Sh** because well that was what I had witnessed in the past. Anxieties would rise up and the so called happy moment would be a cause of concern. In a "great moment" I would start wondering, "how much would this last?" "I hope this last ", instead of just taking in all in and enjoying the opportunity to appreciate it.

STOP LOOKING AT YOUR PAST FOR ANSWERS

The power of not thinking, not analyzing and connecting the dots is immense, why ? Because we often look for reference when we want to make sense of something or  in this scenario why a person was scared in such a happy time? This question sends triggers all over and the mind goes deep with in pull something applicable from our past.

 But, it turns out learning lessons from the past is not always that great.  Yes, this is contrary to what most people say, learn from your past! never repeat them mistakes, but don't you? and don't you go "UGH! I should not have I known better?" Yes we all have. So it turns out learning from the past does not always work, you do not always learn and it may even not be good for you.

YOU DO YOU BOO! 

We have to do what suits us, not follow formulas and rules that other people give. I was reading Robin Sharma's book once and the celebrated author just did not click with me, Not saying he was not right and that I was wrong. I just could not relate. I tried hard to finish that book because I had heard such good things about it. But I just could not. A book that was supposedly giving me reasons to live was making me want to kill myself (not literary). It was frustrating! Then I just stopped reading that book. It was good decision, I stopped putting pressure on myself to love something that I in fact hated.

YOU ARE NOT AN EXCEPTION !

Now coming back to the whole reason I told you this facade of a story, you and I maybe different, we may have fears about happiness but that does not mean there is not something to help us. The power of not thinking did what Robin Sharma could not get me do. I realized making sense and diving into the pool of my past was simply making me resent my present happiness. It does not have to be that one way. If you feel fear during happiness, thinking to yourself "is my fear of happiness right now  cause of my past?" If the answer is yes probably that is not path worth venturing into.

We must stop thinking we are an exception, we were not just chosen for unhappiness despite of what the past says, we were given equal opportunity to be happy.  It is and was  only a matter of how we use it, stuck in the past or by living in the present.

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