Monday, April 28, 2014

Yes, I am a Pushover and It is Okay

I am a pushover

It is okay to be a Pushover and I accepted it recently. Don’t know what a pushover is? Let me list down some of the traits for you. Pushovers usually have this uncontrollable need to Please people  , they tend to keep their emotions locked inside due to the fear of being called overly sensitive, you observe all the negative energy around you; if your friend is in a bad mood you observe that too.

Over the years after a series of confrontations I came to realize that sometimes its best to let things be. Eventually, not voicing my opinion became a norm it took over me. These pushover antics usually stem up from the fear that if you say no, disagree, voice out your opinion people will leave you. It stems up from a fear of not wanting to be alone. The unfortunate truth. A pushover will feel lots of feelings; they voice them out as well but tailor their voices according to the reaction a person gives. I am not really sure when it all began, but I choose to believe that it was quite a number of people telling me I act on my emotions rather than my logic. No don’t be alarmed, I was no more different than many of you, I simply was a little too sensitive to negative words, actions towards me, you feel me?. Everybody feels bad when someone treats them wrong but to obsess over it is a different thing. Over the years I have changed quite a lot I try to shield myself from people who judge me for my feelings. However, even today like a repeated stigmatization a rather innocent action is attributed to me being over sensitive, over emotional. It is extremely hard to shake off a stigma, but I tried.  I guess I turned into a pushover because I was scared of being called over sensitive.

Hence, it brings us to this day. In my life I admire a lot of people being able to not give a F***, it is something that if mastered could give the courage and a voice. But then there are people like us, we do give a F***.  It took sometime but now I accept that I am a Pushover. Urban dictionary describes it as being someone who is easily controlled. To all those who are one, let me tell you something being one does not make you over emotional or a sissy, it makes you someone who is strong enough to put your ego aside and just be. Someone who will adjust for the happiness of others. Being a pushover doesn’t mean not saying what you feel, losing your voice like I did at one point. Being a pushover means choosing not be involved in power play of ego, dominating nature and bossiness. It is about letting go of trivial confrontation that simply wastes time and energy. It is okay to be a pushover, Just do not be miserable. Yes! There is a difference.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. I'm so close with my wonderful sisters but a few days ago one of them lost her temper with me, called me weak and told me how angry she is with me because I stayed so long in a job where I was bullied. I haven't spoken to her yet but decided it was time (44yrs old) that I learned to harden my heart a little but since the usual heartbreak in life hadn't hardened it that much, I asked Google how to do it and your page appeared. I realise that I'm not weak, I've just kept my opinion very quiet and dole it out calmly so as not to be called over sensitive. I've been called that my whole life, as though it's a gross flaw! I'm not sure how to go about getting my voice back but keeping my sensitivity but your post has left me feeling stronger in myself
    Thank you so much