Your Passion Will Not Please You. Not Always.

I have written many posts on passion or the rather on the redundant and over used titles of "Do what you love". But as I am reaching my mid 20's I have come to realize that its not about doing what you love but sticking to what you love even when at that particular moment you do not enjoy it.

And as I listen to positive vibe mixes on youtube with their perfect peach butt emoji like thumbnail, I can't help but really question is life all about doing what you love? In my recent series of knowledge and incidents of my life, it definitely is not, even the youtube click bait remix over done  edm music took perhaps hours to compile and while in our heads we see a cool looking hipster dude busting out the beats while throwing his hand in the air, while the peach emoji girl hands him his favorite drink the reality can possibly be a sweaty dude probably with diet coke in his hand slogging good hours in the back doors of his study or ragidity old studio putting in his 110% even if he does not want to.

Unfortunately, while you and I both would love to think and believe that doing what we love will always feel like a vacation the truth is it usually feels like conscious decision. A decision to forgo your ego, learn and grow. To leave out the things you like to do things that you need. Late nights to make good work happen, rather then drunken nights with your friends.



A whole lot of creative difference, dealing with new people, questioning your talent, questioning your work, questioning what works and what does not. Your passion is not their to please you, its not their to tell you hey its okay slack away you deserve it, its their to make you feel uncomfortable as you waste your years youtubing food recipes you will not make, its about giving it your all even when you do not really want to.

Its at times putting yourself out there being vulnerable and honest and at time working hard and still not getting the results.

Passion is not perfection.

I hope this helped those that feel lost even whilst doing the things they love. Sometimes you are not supposed to love the things you usually love. Its about doing the things you love even when you really don't love it at that particular moment. 

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Chips Chilly or Aloo Dum? What kind of Nepali Are You & Does it Matter?

The standard food ordering for any Nepali consists of momo, some kind of chilli and a fried starch.

Hence, on one particular day just like most times,  my friends and I ensued in the standard proceedings of ordering food

1.Chicken momo
2. Chips Chilli
3. Chicke....fooled you, we decided to go with something a little different and went with Veg fried rice this time. Everyone likes change.


But today as we were going with standard checklist of food and about to wrap up a friend from the corner yelled out " Dai euta aloo dum". We all looked at him  kind of amused by this, although a  not so strange addition to the usual ordering it rather a small deviation from the standard. 

If you don't know by now my love for food is endless and hence my friends and I welcome this addition with open arms.

Is the comparison making you hungry? Okay. Okay. I will get to the point.

Now, in life a friend may not take the path of aloo dum but instead his/her difference in choice could be in the life he leads, the outfit she wears and the way  they live.

While Aloo dum is welcoming, him embracing is sexuality or passion may not be.

You may not understand it or find his way of life worthy of acceptance.

And, while the potato chilli or aloo chilli debate is not as debatable, how someone lives their life
certainly becomes one.

 For generaaaaaationnnnnsss we have heard insert annoying aunty voice "What will people think?" and diligently obliged to the unforeseen rules and costs of just being ourselves.

The cost ? It can range from back handed comments to honor killing. Killing just because the society fails to accept or understand their choices.

And although acceptance and respect something all of us deserve it becomes the hardest to give and what ensues as a result? Judgement.

Judgement we pass on the good decision and the bad.
On the passionates and the passives
On the dreamers, the non-dreamers and the doers
On the living and the dead

We  let judgement take over and go after those who tried loaded mash potato instead of the chips chilly or even those who do not like potatoes at ( Yes, there are people who do not like potatoes. I know. Unbelievable).



The point here is, potatoes on the side or no potatoes at all when judging someone for their food sounds unusual, why doesn't judging someone who is simply trying to do their best life?  

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Having Passion can destroy you ...............here is why.....

The blogging hiatus stops here and now We Talk. A lot of the times suffering is silent and I would say mine is to, amidst all the going ons I lost my sense of self and my willingness to write. What came so naturally did not anymore, none of it did and that is why I decided take a break from it.

What bothered me more than anything in this time was my inability to understand how I may have just outgrown the thing I love, my passion, my love for writing.

It was not some terrible incident that led me to stop my writing mid clasps (of the keyboard) I should explain I have a fairly old laptop so every time I type it gives of that typewritery sound. Yes,
I shall choose to believe its a word and shall use it profusely. Coming back, my reasons to stop what I love doing did not come from any distress, it simply arrived without notice and took away something special to me.

And here is where I talk about passion and what the world never told me about it:

LET'S TALK ABOUT PASSION BABY! 

How I thought it worked :

Having passion meant you beep your way through it like a road runner,
I believed passion just came from within, it needed no persistence,
and while I may sound slightly naive for this I also believed having passion made things easy, I believed every motivational poster out there that took 5 minutes to make which stated that those who had passion had it all, that it was passion that was the key to everything.


Boy! was I dead wrong!!


What Passion really is? 

Passion is just a spark, for it to turn into fire people refer to so much,  it needs goes through a complicated process of the hard, slow, fast and easy stages of cultivation and nurture.


Passion is the pizza dough, if you don't work hard enough you may just end of up with bread. But, for it to become the cheesy goodness that it is, you need ingredients just like for passion to STAY and Passion to grow you need energy and commitment.

Passion takes work and it can be emotionally draining, it forces you to make choices, one that either leads you to opportunities or de-tracks you from it.

Think of the one thing that you were passionate about in the past?
Ask yourself this: Why did you stop?

Because the world gave us this idealized version of what passion is and without complaints we took it.

We believed that passion is the burning drive that pushed us to keep going, while we forgot that we are humans and we need to refuel, get our energy, that unlike things in the movies it does take time for passion to grow.

While the worlds version of passion might motivate us for a second, it is our understanding of how passion actually works that will keep us growing.


Therefore, let's broaden our idea of what Passion is and how it works:

Passion works when you have the determination
It works when you revive it, nurture it, accepting that just passion may not be enough
Passion sometimes can feel more like a chore than an exciting expedition
And,
passion sometimes means losing it and then working hard to get it back because you know its important for you.

As I sit here slouching in my couch working hard to bring my passion back I tell you to give your
 long forgotten passion projects or life choices one last push, give it time and understand that passion is not a blazing fire but a slight spark that needs nourishment to grow.




Have a lovely rest of the day people!

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