Saturday, July 19, 2014

Why not ?

Let me tell you a story. It starts with you making some decisions, plans about the future near or far. Hopes dreams and ambitions. The course you want to take in life. Tell people about them. However, people tell you otherwise. Then, you end up changing all that you believed in to makes these “people” happy. But regardless of how much you try, somehow you never seem to please these “people”.

Conformity is big. I think I felt the initial pang of it when a hatred of mere group of my class fellows in high school transformed into an entire class not wanting to be my friend. But let’s talk about us. Lets talk about how we let ourselves feel certain things and be a certain way because we assume it will bring us true form of ‘happiness’. Through mine and many of my counterparts endeavours in high school, I realised that people confirm despite everything because they feel doing so gives them acceptance and peace of mind in return. Doing so will protect them in having to justify, reason or stand up for what they think is right. WHICH IS EXHAUSTING. For example People are always asking the why’s, why is she that way, Why are you doing this?, why are you choosing this career path? But often most of us will not turn back and say why not! Why can’t I do what I feel is right, or be the way that I truly want to be? Because it is tiring how many people do we shoo away? How long is that going to take? Quite a lot. So instead of reasoning you confirm you accept what the group requires you to. Because who has the energy to answer all the whys right? WRONG. Getting older has made me realise that once you start confirming and stop reasoning it strips you of all the freedom you have. The freedom to say what you feel, be who you are and do what you like. It strips you off the freedom to just be.

Looking back, all the times I did confirm gives me a greater urge to fight back. Because its about time. Why should anyone live a life of conformity? When you can enjoy the freedom. This doesn’t mean you yolo your way through life and not worry about its consequences. It also doesn’t mean not listening to suggestions of family and friends who love you or throwing your hypocrisy in peoples faces. What it means is.. Stop being a part of something, say something is right, just because everyone else things its okay. Stop trying to achieve being “cool” “Chilled out” or many of the other things. Just be you and be free.

Ps: To the bullied. Bullies do not change. It is how they are and how they shall be. But you can. I know it is hard but resist it. Just for a few years or few days or months. Ask for help from family and teachers. But stop conforming to their behaviours towards you.  Stop believing and trying to change because of how others make you  feel. Always ask and always reason. Why not?


  1. Its amazing how far just being yourself can take you. And your simple "No" or "Not Now" can work on so many levels at stopping the bullies. As for the freedom part, once you learn what you can do when you live just for yourself, there and then is how you can truly live. Not merely live, but enjoy. :-)

    1. I completely agree with you ankint its all about perspective you need to push harder to make yourself the priority because there is a reason for your existence and that is to be what you want to be without having been told otherwise :) cheers !