Let me tell you a story. It starts with you making some
decisions, plans about the future near or far. Hopes dreams and ambitions. The
course you want to take in life. Tell people about them. However, people tell
you otherwise. Then, you end up changing all that you believed in to makes
these “people” happy. But regardless of how much you try, somehow you never
seem to please these “people”.
Conformity is big. I think I felt the initial pang of it
when a hatred of mere group of my class fellows in high school transformed into
an entire class not wanting to be my friend. But let’s talk about us. Lets talk
about how we let ourselves feel certain things and be a certain way because we
assume it will bring us true form of ‘happiness’. Through mine and many of my
counterparts endeavours in high school, I realised that people confirm despite
everything because they feel doing so gives them acceptance and peace of mind
in return. Doing so will protect them in having to justify, reason or stand up
for what they think is right. WHICH IS EXHAUSTING. For example People are
always asking the why’s, why is she that way, Why are you doing this?, why are
you choosing this career path? But often most of us will not turn back and say
why not! Why can’t I do what I feel is right, or be the way that I truly want
to be? Because it is tiring how many people do we shoo away? How long is that
going to take? Quite a lot. So instead of reasoning you confirm you accept what
the group requires you to. Because who has the energy to answer all the whys
right? WRONG. Getting older has made me realise that once you start confirming
and stop reasoning it strips you of all the freedom you have. The freedom to
say what you feel, be who you are and do what you like. It strips you off the
freedom to just be.
Looking back, all the times I did confirm gives me a greater
urge to fight back. Because its about time. Why should anyone live a life of conformity?
When you can enjoy the freedom. This doesn’t mean you yolo your way through
life and not worry about its consequences. It also doesn’t mean not listening
to suggestions of family and friends who love you or throwing your hypocrisy in
peoples faces. What it means is.. Stop being a part of something, say something
is right, just because everyone else things its okay. Stop trying to achieve
being “cool” “Chilled out” or many of the other things. Just be you and be
free.
Ps: To the bullied. Bullies do not change. It is how they
are and how they shall be. But you can. I know it is hard but resist it. Just
for a few years or few days or months. Ask for help from family and teachers. But
stop conforming to their behaviours towards you. Stop believing and trying to change because
of how others make you feel. Always ask
and always reason. Why not?
Its amazing how far just being yourself can take you. And your simple "No" or "Not Now" can work on so many levels at stopping the bullies. As for the freedom part, once you learn what you can do when you live just for yourself, there and then is how you can truly live. Not merely live, but enjoy. :-)
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you ankint its all about perspective you need to push harder to make yourself the priority because there is a reason for your existence and that is to be what you want to be without having been told otherwise :) cheers !
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