Friday, October 21, 2016

Don't be Fine.






As much as I try to be candid with my words the truth of the matter is I hide behind it. I hide because I am scared of judgement like most of you are. However, today I want to let my guard down, because it does not make sense to be half halfheartedly honest, it does not make sense to preach being yourself if at times you are so afraid to be you.

In my page, my life you will see that I support a lot of things anti-bullying, feminism, equality, happiness and mental health. I have my reasons, my experiences and whole lot more to credit for the way I am today, the reason I support the things I support and here is what I want to tell you.

This truth may not be what you are looking for, but my hope for any of my blog articles has been an escape for me and maybe happiness, comfort and joy for you.

Since a very young age I have felt pain, and this pain may not entirely be of the same context as yours or the same intensity and frequency. But pain is pain and it hurts. Meanwhile, I have also seen bad days and what I thought were bad days until I saw worse. In this time here, I have bared witness to lots, just like most of you have. So, this one goes out to all of you who are suffering, hurt, lost, confused for whatever reason. This one goes out to those who are in pain.

Don't Wear Your Pain 

Just because you are in pain, you don't have to act, live and be in pain. A lot of people know my story just like a lot of people know yours, friends, family and relatives. They listen when I share but in return some expect too,  you may ask what they might expect in a time like that? They expect that I act out the pain, they say  things like "wow! I never thought you have so much going on". The truth is I do, did and will have something going on for the rest of my life but that does not going on but it does not mean I have to plaster it on my face. Pain is real, raw but it is mostly always private. Your pain is a part of you but it does not have to define you.

Don't be Positive 
Don't be positive.Just be comfortable. Some people are so ferociously intent on being positive frankly its almost sickening. They shoo away their feelings, get uncomfortable around true human emotions. They basically want to function us clown robots. But, when you have emotions why not use them?
Human beings are given emotions to feel, to be, to express, to witness, why fight it. Do not fit into the idea of someone's pain. Find your own.If yours mean sulking for a day or two and picking yourself up, do it.


I say these two things to you because I know how it feels to force happiness when you don't want to. I know what it is like act fine when you are really. So, today I tell you to  okay to not be okay, I am not okay, to feel what you feel, as I try and find out my definition of pain.

Lastly, this post is inspired by mom who is always very comfortable with being herself and has taught me in more ways than one that just because you are in pain, you don't need to act it. 

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